Temperatures are set to rise over the next few days, but we have a tendency to over-react when we get a fine spell in April. Here’s a few things you may see in town over the weekend…
Don’t try this at home kids.
1. The sight of a hastily-prepared BBQ
With our unpredictable weather, we’re rarely ever prepared to host a proper BBQ.
As soon as the sun pokes his nose behind the clouds it’s down to the supermarket for enough meat to feed a South African rugby team.
Then it’s all slapped onto one of those tiny disposable barbecues (here’s a thought: if it says ‘disposable’ on the box, the chances are it’s not worth having in the first place).
Add in some ill-chosen alcohol choices and too much fuel sprayed on the grill and voilá! Third degree burns, salmonella poisoning and a spell in A&E awaits.
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2. The town centre ‘gun show’
It’s not quite summer – in the shade there is a definite nip in the air – but that won’t stop some lads in town whipping off the shirt and giving all in sundry a sight of what the winter has been hiding.
Milky white flesh glistening in the spring sun, flexed biceps, tightened tums and freckly chests abound in the Square as they try to impress the ‘beors’.
To complete this retina-burning spectacle, these fine specimens tuck their disrobed piece of clothing into one of their pants pockets and have it hang alongside them, swinging as they strut the streets of central Tralee. Classy.
And as for those similarly exposed women…actually, let’s not go there.
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3. Fine weather pessimists
For these people, every ray of sunlight is tinged with sadness, as it’s all going to be over soon.
As soon as clouds return and the first smattering of raindrops hit the kitchen window “that’s our summer over now” is emitted with self-satisfied sigh.
4. Temperature exaggerators
I close cousin of the fine weather pessimists, a tiny change in temperature can make a gigantic difference, can be heard uttering these words almost collapsing on a heap.
“I like it when it’s warm, but this is too hot. It must be 30 degreeees!”
If you can’t handle 17 degrees, chances are you’re not much of sun worshipper.
“Hoi goys, anyone for a Heino?”
5. Flip-Flop Man/Golf Guy
The hippy equivalent of our exhibitionist friends in the ‘gun show’, this guy dresses in knee-length shorts and flip-flops at the slightest glimpse of sunshine.
It’s a little trick he picked up in Australia, where he was having the time of his life in proper ‘flip-flop weather’.
His posher cousin, ‘Golf-Guy’, will be wearing cream shorts with a brown leather belt, a Ralph Lauren polo shirt (tucked in), sweater tied around shoulders and, of course, boat shoes, this weekend.
