ONE of the things that I hate most in my life is attending funerals.
Yesterday I went to my friend’s mother’s funeral in Cork and it reminded me of why I hate them so much.
It breaks my heart to see people I care about so upset. I end up crying, no matter how well or not I know the person.
Grief is one of the most horrible parts of life that we will ever encounter and I know it is something that I am certainly not looking forward to. Thankfully both my parents and my siblings are still with us and I dread the day that this dynamic changes.
I have friends who are not so lucky and have experienced huge personal loss in their lives. Their strength and resilience is always something that amazes me.
I know people who have lost parents, siblings, husband or wife, or indeed children. There is no doubt about it that life can be exceptionally cruel and some families get dealt a horrible deck of cards.
Death of a loved one can have devastating effects on a family, particularly if the death is sudden or tragic. Every night we hear the news about deaths that are the result of murder, car accidents, industrial/farm accidents or suicide and I always stop and think about the families of these victims.
How, in the blink of an eye, their lives have changed forever and they have suddenly been thrown in to the depths of grief for their loved ones.
People are very resilient and we as a nation are very good at supporting our friends and neighbours during hard times. One of the worst things I can imagine happening to any parent is to lose a child.
There is nothing natural to see a mother or father stand at the graveside of their child whatever the circumstances. Illness, accident or suicide there is no reason that I could give that could naturalise this.
When I hear of a child dying, I question once again that a god exists. Stephen Fry gave a super interview to Gay Byrne earlier this year, when asked what he would say on reaching the pearly gates? Fry an atheist said: “I’ll say bone cancer in children…what’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world with such misery that is not our fault.”
I think it was one of the best interviews I have ever watched.
There is such sadness and misery thrown at some families I really do count my blessings. Of course I know that life is not always going to be so rosy and there is no getting away from death but I will admit the prospect really does scare me.
Today, reach out to your nearest and dearest, give them a hug, call them and tell them you love them. This is something that will be taken from you when they are gone. I’m sure there are a lot of readers who would relish the opportunity to do this, but this was taken from them when they lost their loved one.
For those of you who have been affected by death, I really hope that you are doing okay and that you find comfort and strength from family and friends. Grief counselling is available and from what I’ve been told is of huge benefit to many. Talk to your GP if you need to but do talk to someone.
Until next week, look after yourself and look after each other!
Orlagh x
