Orlagh Winters: How Cancer And The Last Five Years Changed My Life Forever

.

APOLOGIES for not having a column last week, but I was in CUH having tests.

I can now finally say that I am cancer free and boy what a feeling it is. For the last five years I have contemplated life and how it has changed completely for me.

Pre-cancer I had my dream job, jetting all over the world and visiting new and exciting places.  I love meeting new people and my job afforded me that luxury.

Continued below…

.

Of course there were times that I missed important happenings in the lives of friends and family but I always made up for it when I returned.

Pre-cancer I dreamt of being a mother but that dream was taken from me when I was deemed infertile due to chemotherapy. I could get angry, I could get upset but what is the point of that?

Harbouring ill thoughts, I truly believe, can damage your peace of mind. Sure I do get a teary-eyed when I get the news that one of my friends is expecting a baby, but I always do that alone and never let it be known to the excited mum-to-be.

Continued below…

.

Social media is a wonderful tool to stay connected with friends that you don’t see on a regular basis, but it is also a means to feel a little nostalgic  when you see the beautiful babies that they have.

Back to school photos and last week’s Halloween photos were everywhere of children enjoying the trick or treating. Sometimes I find it very hard to think of what might have been.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel contempt or jealousy when I see the offsprings of my friends and family. What I do feel anger towards, are the idiots who think that it is completely acceptable to assume that my not having a child was a choice I made for selfish reasons.

Recently I met guy I had not seen in years and he commented that me having children would have gotten in the way of my “fabulous life”.

To say I was mad would be an understatement and to be frank if I was a violent person, he would be missing a testicle right now. In fact he would probably be missing two.

Absolutely there are women in the world who make the decision not to have children and that is their business. I admire them for the stance they take and make no apologies for it and rightly so.

Christmas is around the corner and once again there will be photos of children visiting Santa or opening presents all over social media. I will shed a little tear no doubt, but I will also see the good in it and laugh at the terrified faces of the toddlers placed on the knee of a scary looking man with a white beard.

Spare a thought for those of us who would have loved the opportunity to be a parent and don’t presume that it was a choice we made not to be one.

Until next week,

Be grateful!

Orlagh xx