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HAVE you ever been flabbergasted when presented with a certain piece of information?
I am going to reveal to you one occasion when this happened to me. My first reaction was that this couldn’t be right.
I was so amazed that I can remember exactly where I was at the time – (just like I can tell you where I was when I heard about the twin towers collapsing or when Elvis died). I was even more amazed to find out that the information I was given was true.
Continued below…
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I was asked a simple question. If two people were having a conversation what percentage of the total communication are words?
Well I pondered for a few moments about the answer, keeping in mind that I had never given this much thought before, so I then hazarded a guess at say 60%.
As you can imagine I was blown away when I finally heard the answer was 7%.
The officially recognised breakdown of communication between and two human beings goes as follows
Words (what is actually said) 7%
Tone of voice (how we say the words) 38%
Body Language 55%
These figures come from research that a Professor Albert Mehrabian undertook in 1971.
Awareness of these figures can be of great benefit if one is get to the most out of a conversation. It indicates that we should pay far more attention to the tone of a conversation, to the body language of the person we are talking to in proportion to the words that are coming out of his/her mouth.
I suppose at another level it also beggars the question – What is this person saying? or, more importantly what is he ‘not saying !’
All in all I think this makes the art of conversation even more interesting. I would also think that it also indicates the importance of some silence and listening in a conversation so that our bodies get a chance to assess the 93% of the conversation that doesn’t come from words.
This in turn again leads us into the art of being present. When we are present we can observe all of these things and as a result get far more out of the conversation.
Thich Nhat Hahn; “the most precious gift we can offer others is Our Presence”
Yes, I have no doubt it requires practice, but I believe this practice is essential and well worthwhile if one is to develop the skills being a listener rather than being a talker in any given conversation.
Quote: We have two ears and one mouth, we should use them in that same proportion! – Epictetus
Next week I am going to write about ‘The Art of Listening’
Very, very good!