Roger Harty: Anger (Part 2)

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I WROTE in last week’s article – here – about how anger as an emotion has got particularly bad press,  but that in reality, if one is to explore it properly, I believe there are as many, if not more, positive aspects to this phenomenal emotion as there are negative.

It is this positive attribute to anger that is of particular interest to me.

Pardon me if I sound a little overawed by this aspect of the emotion for this is true – I was a total stranger to it, so I am a little excited, just like a scientist who has just discovered something new or perhaps like a kid who has just discovered a new toy.

Anger, if used as energy in a positive way, can be such a powerful emotion. It can be a great thing (is it a thing?) if used properly to clear the decks.

It is best used for the most part under the greatest of control as the benefit can be properly channelled.

A little out of control anger can also have its useful benefits but should be used carefully and I would suggest for very short periods of time.

Now, there I have stated what could be well regarded as a total contradiction, for it would be true to say that uncontrolled anger is not something that you really use, it’s more like it uses you. Jesus used it to great effect in the temple!

I experienced this recently myself when I read an article on Facebook by a professional counsellor who wrote that suicide is selfish.

If I was to describe my feelings at that moment, I could say I became ‘white’ with anger. It completely overtook me and if I am to honest I was furious with such a statement.

Yes, that was my reaction and yes there might well be other people who feel that suicide or the act of suicide is selfish, but I honestly feel that there could be nothing further from the truth.

People who are suicidal are not selfish – they are vulnerable, lost and don’t know where to turn to.

Every door or direction they turn seems to be like a blank door with no key or no way out.

Every alley is a blank alley. Just think for a moment how lonely that it, especially if they have loved ones around them and simply can’t find a way out.

After a period of time they become exhausted from trying to look for help that works for them and they have given up looking to themselves for answers.

Life is futile and meaningless. They believe they have nowhere to turn to and that their only option is to take their own life.

How vulnerable is that I ask you – That is why they are suicidal!

They need love, care, nurturing, understanding, a listening ear, compassion in a world that is simply moving too fast that they are exhausted from trying to keep up.

They need time in an environment that is simply loving and allows them to grow and realise how precious they really are.

If this is done in a proper manner through advice on things like diet, exercise, meditation, learning, to feel listened to, supervised medication if required and simply given time and space for the nurturing to take place.

The last thing they need is to be regarded as selfish from a so-called non-judgmental trained counsellor.

That was why I was so angry because I simply felt it was an injustice to all these suicidal people and their families to write such a thing.

I refuse to engage in any personal abuse of the counsellor who wrote that article as I could then be regarded as being judgemental. All I will state is that ‘Love works’ and I cannot for the life of me understand how describing the person who commits suicide or the act of suicide as selfish could in any way be regarded as loving. To me that is a ‘no-brainer’.

Now the best psychologists in the world will tell you that the best way to control anger is to express it and not to supress it, so to be honest that is what I am writing in this article.

I am not asking everyone who reads this article to agree with me, but perhaps they might give what I say some consideration, as I was that person who was suicidal and I used the above tools and environment to assist me in my recovery.

I know that it works and I want to share the message that there is hope and that when they begin to love themselves that hope springs eternal.

That was why I was white with anger as the word selfish played no part in my recovery.

Now self-love and self-care that is a different matter. I am grateful to this article for giving me the opportunity to express myself and to get it off my chest. Thank you.

Namaste.

Next week I am going to write about  – Courage!