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I WROTE in my article last week (click here) that the greatest gift that we can give another human being is our presence.
Let me elaborate further on this statement that the greatest form of Presence we can give is a genuine listening ear.
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That would certainly be ‘The Rock’ on which that wonderful organisation ‘The Samaritans’ is built on where all their highly trained volunteers are gifted with the magnificent skill of listening with a non-judgemental ear. Long may they continue in their highly valued and cherished work.
Many, many distraught people who avail of these services simply require a listening ear which somehow allows them the space to somehow find a direction in their difficulties. This may be difficult to explain but let me assure you that no explanation is necessary.
It is never necessary to explain ‘how something works’ as long as ‘that it works’!
Just like air – we don’t need to be a scientist to figure out the chemical composition of Oxygen – we simply need to breathe it and know that air keeps us alive!
Ok – this brings me nicely to The art of Listening and hopefully I will make my point of demonstrating to you the link between what I have written above and in particular level 3 style listening listed below.
Basically there are three types of listening.
Level 1 Internal Listening
At Level 1 listening our awareness is on ourselves. Yes we listen to the other person but our attention is on what it means to us personally. At level one there is only one question – what does this mean to me?
Level 2 Focused Listening
At Level 2, there is a sharp focus on the other person. Sometimes you can see it in each person’s posture: both leaning forward and looking intently at each other.
Like two lovers in a restaurant you pay attention to all sorts of information – the tone, the pace the feelings expressed. You listen to the other person’s initial conversation and also listen to their reaction to your response.
To listen in this mode properly you are no longer trying to figure out what your next piece of conversation is. It just comes up naturally.
Level 3 Global Listening
When you are listening at Level 3 you listen as though you and the other person are at the centre of the universe.
To listen at this level you must be very open and soft focused, ready to receive information from all the senses in your own sphere.
It’s as if the environment around you feeds into the conversation. Sometimes the silence that occurs in the listening creates the space to allow the energy of the universe to contribute to the flow of the conversation. It simply evolves over time.
To repeat from above it is not important how it works what is of far more importance is ‘that’ it works!
Next week I am going to write about – The importance of the word Abstract.
