I HAVE always been proud to be who I am. I have always been proud to be a part of my family.
I have held my family name since I have been born; and forevermore, whether you like it or not you are associated with your family name.
You will always be discussed by people who knew your parents, or your uncle or your cousin; and you will be judged for whatever you do.
And whatever you do will be brought back and will be sketched mentally in the minds of people who know your family, and no one will ever forget your actions (scary, right?).
This in turn means that if someone in your family succeeds, you carry their pride for whatever they have done. People will most likely mention it to you. Or you may even proudly announce that you are actually related to this person.
You see it a lot when someone shoots to fame in Hollywood or something. Then all these people will suddenly come out of the woodwork and applaud this person.
Cousins upon cousins will practically run around on the streets claiming to know this person and everyone has a friend who grew up with them and may even become an ‘inside source’ for gossip magazines in the future.
Now, there is nothing really wrong with this. I guess everyone wants to hop on the back of someone else’s success. There is of course the lesser version; where maybe a relative was a guest on Graham Norton’s red chair.
People then soak in the pride of carrying their family name in this way.
But what if, someone in your family does something wrong? What if someone in your family does something earth-shatteringly wrong?
Intentionally or unintentionally, they have brought you in on it.
Gossip circles will carry your name in their mistake as well, just because you are related to them. You are dragged through the dirt along with them and it really doesn’t matter if you were involved or not.
Is it fair that you should carry their ‘shame’ along with them? Is it fair that you are totally written off as an individual, and are forced to carry someone else’s mistakes on you back?
I would like to be bold enough to say no.
It is not fair that people are criticised for someone else’s mistakes. Everyone is their own person and should not be ridiculed for something that they had no control over.
I have heard too many stories where someone totally unrelated to the situation is brought in and shamed just because their cousin or aunt or brother was involved in something. It has nothing to do with it.
Everyone makes their own decisions and takes their own actions. No one else should be involved.
Make the decision to be above this petty shaming act. Be your own person and stand by your own decisions.
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