I THINK that people can stand in two positions.
Either they are pressured to do everything, or they pressure themselves to do everything.
What I mean by this is, an individual is expected to be able to sit through a football game, even if they have no interest in it themselves.
Or someone is expected to wear something that is ‘in fashion’ just because everyone else is wearing it, even if they don’t like the item themselves.
People are expected to do a lot of things. I see nothing wrong with setting expectations for ourselves, and sometimes it is okay for others to set certain expectations for you.
But I think it starts to become a problem when we are betraying ourselves for the sake of looking ‘normal’, or to not cause a problem for someone else.
I have recently realised that it is okay to set your own boundaries, and it is okay to admit that you are not able to do certain things.
I know that I am not good with children, so I will usually try to be honest with myself, and others around me, about it.
I will not try to dress it up to impress people, or start spouting lies about how I am actually allergic to them to try and get out of it.
I will just set that boundary for myself, because I know that it is okay to admit that I am not comfortable with it.
Obviously, there are certain limits to every limit.
I believe that to set a boundary on something, you must have actually tried it. I have tried to mind a couple of two year olds in my time and admittedly, I just didn’t have the patience level for it. I no longer see the point in sugar-coating it.
I actually admire people who are blunt, because it means that I know that they aren’t being fake with me and that I can trust their comment, which I value more than anything.
I think in Ireland particularly, there is a need to always agree and always be available to do everything; which I can’t possibly imagine to be fair.
No-one is suited to everything.
Not everyone loves watching the match. Not everyone loves going to a fashion show. So do you really need to prove yourself by forcing yourself through the ordeal just to be seen to be polite, or to be seen to ‘normal’ (whatever the hell that is).
I think that people need to start accepting people for who they are and what they are. That way, it is easier for people to accept what they actually like doing, and what they are actually capable of doing.
I, for one, am not capable of sitting through a table of people gossiping about what their sister’s best friend’s nephew’s cousin is doing at the moment. And I think that is perfectly acceptable.
At least I’m being honest. And isn’t honest always the best policy?
• Follow Zoë O’Connor on Twitter on @Zobo2402
