Five Kerry Fans You Don’t Want To Sit Next To This Sunday

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WHOO-HOO! It’s back to Croker we go for this Sunday’s quarter-final with Galway.

There’s nothing like match day in headquarters for the excitement and atmosphere. will be there to capture the atmosphere with photos of Kerry fans enjoying the fun before the match in the capital.

While most Kerry fans are passionate, fair and sporting in defeat and victory, I’m hoping to avoid a few of these types of fans…

The Shouty Type


And this is him just buying the programme off a young fella on the way in. Yes, we’ve all had the misfortune of sitting next to this beaut at one stage or another.

Before the ball is even thrown in, our apoplectic ape turns bright red, the eyes bulge, spittle runs down his chin and his arms flail dangerously close to your jaw.

A foiled Kerry attack will result in a volley of sounds and swear words, delivered at such volume and intensity, it sounds like Roy Chubby Brown clubbing a seal.

Continued below…


The Groupie Type

Hair impeccable? Check. High heels? Check. Standard pink Kerry jersey? Check. Skinny jeans? Check. Disturbingly high-pitched squeal when Paul Geaney gets the ball? Check.

Ok, aesthetically it’s a lot better than ‘Shouty Man’, but it is annoying when the squeals fail to reach audible-only-to-dogs territory and instead, burst your eardrums.

The Know-It-All Type

I sat next to this guy at a game some years ago. Despite having never met the man, I got a blow by blow account of what every Kerry player was doing wrong.

This sage leans forward slightly, strokes his chin and delivers pearls of footballing wisdom with such solemnity you’d swear he was describing the fall of the Berlin Wall.

“Yes, he’s always been the same, bad distribution…Cavan are in here for a point, yes indeed…He took his eye off the ball there…tut-tut wrong option again there, see?”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” is what I didn’t reply.


The Negative Type

A close relation of ‘Shouty Man’, this prophet of doom will hold his head in his hands and give an ‘oh-Jesus-we’re-fecked’ type of exclamation every time a ball is dropped or kicked wide.

Him: “Oh Christ, did you see that wide? He’s really off his game today, we’re finished!”

You: “Calm down, it’s still only the warm-up before the game.”

The Nasty, Ungracious Type

Usually young and stupid – but, thankfully, also very rare – this immature lad (always male and half-cut) abuses the opposition at every turn and tries to start an ‘olé’ at every Kerry pass when we have a commanding lead. Move. Seats. Now!

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