Roger Harty: Success v Happiness

A GREAT question to ask is – ‘what is the difference between success and happiness?’

I really like the following definition.

Success: Is having what you want

Happiness: Is wanting what you have

Note: I have highlighted the ‘h’ and the ‘w’ in the success definition – the reason for this is to help you to remember it because if your life is being determined by success you are eventually heading down the road of trouble i.e. (h,w) Hot Water.

Why is this so? Let’s examine the above two definitions in more detail.

Success: Is having what you want

So you set your goal and you achieve it. This could be anything like a big house, the latest smartphone or a high spec car.

There is great satisfaction no doubt in getting what you want but what happens when you get it?

A feeling of achievement arises (a kind of inner buzz!) that I am successful and that I reach my goals, but when this dies down it is most certainly followed by being replaced by another goal and the list goes on.

Yes I may be great at achieving all of these goals but there is always a sense of unease, in other words – a quest for more, not ultimately being happy with ‘your lot’ and constant search.

Remember I defined ‘stress’ in a previous article as “Being here and trying to be there”.

Even though there is a short term satisfaction feeling, it is also accompanied by a ‘vacuum’, a kind of emptiness that suggests that there surely must be more to life.

I am sure that is what Bob Geldof (he was very successful and became a multi-millionaire) meant by the title of his book, “Is that It?”

He was ultimately feeling a vacuum that even though he had achieved a lot there must be more to life than a constant state of searching for ‘more’. There was something missing in his life.

The throwaway slogan ‘money won’t make you happy’ comes to mind – there are many very unhappy financially wealthy people. I like the following slogan:

A mid-life crisis…is like finding yourself on the top rung of a ladder against a wall and suddenly realising that the ladder was up against the wrong wall!

Happiness: Is wanting what you have

If you want what you have, you are sending direct messages to your body (subliminal or otherwise) that all is well in your world.

Your body will thus react with a sense of peace and serenity. This is generally the advice that has been given to us by the great gurus – Jesus Christ, The Buddha, Eckhart Tolle, The Dali Lama, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Ghandi among many others.

They gave us this advice through the medium of another word – ‘Acceptance’.

Deep acceptance of a situation always brings peace and always delivers. You might well ask why this is so ? The answer is because it is a Truth and a Truth always works.

See previous article on Acceptance here

When our body feels that it has delivered for us what we want, then the cells of our body begin to vibrate with a sort of inner joy.

It is an inner joy that arises when we are ultimately at peace, No form of material or earthly attainment can come near this ultimate feeling of peace as in direct contrast to success above it arises from ‘not searching’ but true acceptance of each moment of ‘What is’.

Humankind has also come to the realisation of this – This is why there is more and more interest in the whole area of mindfulness.

This is why the book ‘the Power of Now has sold millions of copies – This is why there are more than 400 million followers of Buddhism in the world and this why the message of Jesus Christ – “I Am (is) The Way The Truth and the Life” works.

The hidden message here is one of acceptance which in turn is a form of ‘not searching’. That hopefully explains why ultimately one can never find happiness as it is a state of Being.

Next week I am going to write about the difference between Spirit and Energy.

• Roger Harty is a life coach and can be contacted on 087-6128336, on twitter at @Innerjoyz1 or by email rogharty@gmail.com